Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
