how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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