The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
