Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
