i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
