I wish I could punch you in the face.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize