I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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