What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
