Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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