ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
