Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
