just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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