So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
