Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
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Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
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I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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