Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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