At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
