OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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