Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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