how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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