I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
