PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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