You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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