East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
