the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
