I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The air taste purple.
Randomize
