So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
