And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
