i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
