The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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