Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
