I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
