Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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