Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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