You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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