I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize