Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize