Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
