So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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