Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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