Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
