It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
