Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
