im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
