TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
