And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
