she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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