Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
