it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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