When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
