Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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