I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
