Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
