i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
