What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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