ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
