Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
