The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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