So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So apparently I’m into choking now
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
