When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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