I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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