I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
