i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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