i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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