bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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