I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever