small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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