Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

Billy Mays is dead too!

(1-352): View more from Florida

Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs

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(516): View more from New York

She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.

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(646): View more from New York

it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(915): View more from Texas

Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid

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(706): View more from Georgia

See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working

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(510): View more from California

I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.

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