You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.