no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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