omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
