oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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